jaja_angelface

Upon going home, I realized how much I love NIGHT time so much. I'm pretty unconventional... I love the rain more than the sunshine, I love Fall more than Spring, I love Winter more than Summer and continuing with the trend, I love Night time more than Day time. Some people might interpret it as being negative, but I have my reason for that and the main point of it is: The NIGHT sends you way back to your idealistic moments wherein everything is possible!

I love the NIGHT because it's the time to dream and get back what was lost from the harshness of the day. It's the time to forget about the nasty clients that you had, the negative comments of your boss, the rejection letters that you got and the uneventful and wasted day that just occured.... It's the time to replenish your energy and promise that tomorrow would be better. The thing that I love about night time is it is full of wishful hopes and endless possibilities: "Someday I'll be like this... Someday I'll get through these... Someday things would get better....".

It is on moments like these wherein you can actually just lay back, relax and think of a plan of attack for a better tomorrow. It is the time to lay in bed and go to sleep and together with your ambitions and dreams, rest like royalty!

PS:

- Talked to Elaine yesterday. It's good to have her back in my life. <3 I realized that friendships like these are something that no rain or hail or storm can wash away.... that no matter how much strain in the relationship you had was, friendships like these are the ones which are designed to last a lifetime!

- Been talking with Donna for days now... Somehow, I felt motherly when I'm talking to her. She somehow reminds me of myself way back 5 years ago... On how we use the word "Depression" non-chalantly. I feel better talking to her... She gives me hope.... and it's something that I have been needing for years now.

- I was happy to talk to my HK brother last night. Talking with him always makes me feel a whole lot better. Just like before when we are still studying university in the UK, he always has a solution for all the problems that I'm facing with at the moment, and he always makes sure to solve all my problems at once. It's nice to know that there are still people who work like Superman does.... and I just felt happy that instead of plaguing me with words and thoughts of how stupid I was or how I'm not trying to help myself, the only words that he has for me was: "It was all my fault for not getting online often and checking on what's happening with you my dear sister..." <3 I really slept fairly well last night. It has been the first time that I felt confident in years. <3  I know this might seem odd to a lot of you but the best words he gave me was: "You have a really good CV. This would help a lot!" I felt that there's hope for me to get in where I want to after all!

- Thank you God. Konti nalang... My time would come!

Currently feeling: optimistic

jaja_angelface

Finally... Good news after a long time of setbacks....

Today, upon trying, I realized that my favorite jeans of all times are slowly fitting me again.....

which means - I'm finally losing weight! yahooooo!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD!   I never thought that I can make it.... Sigh! It feels good to finally have one goal almost close to reaching!

Thank you God!

Currently listening to: I don't care - 2ne1
Currently watching: Pledge This!
Currently feeling: happy

jaja_angelface

Everytime I take this test, the results are ALWAYS ALWAYS ACCURATE AND AMAZING!!!!!! He got it all right to the dot! I guess this really means that I need to relax and take a rest.... <3

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Name: Jaja
Date: 7/6/2009
Colorgenics Number: 62375041

You are under considerable stress and you are almost about to 'blow your top' but you are fortunate enough to be able to exert control. Control is the name of the game and it is so good to realise that whatever the situation may be a this time - it will pass. You need to get away from everything for a while and if you do, you will find that, strangely enough, it will seem that most of your problems and situations will seem to wash away, just as the sea may wash away 'footprints' in the sand.

Now there are many things in life that you require as essential to your well-being but, try as you may, something always seems to be getting in your way. A word of advice - 'keep trying' and you may be pleasantly surprised to see just how matters turn out.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.

Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.

jaja_angelface

Just talked to my friend from the UK today.... I somehow felt uncomfortable to hear the most familiar accent known to me for the 3 years that I have been to University. Has her accent always been that thick?! I felt lost.... my tongue and brain not coordinating properly.... Should I talk using my american or british accent?! Or should I reply back in Filipino since she's half fili anyway.... I guess that's the worse thing about being brought up on different states. Things don't stay as they are.

She knocked some senses to me though.... Telling me that everything's gonna be okay and I'm much stronger than I think I am. She advised me to find a job that I love then work my life back up from there.... then take a week long vacation with friends, my sister or cousins.... I feel the need to go to Italy now with my 3 Sisiw Girls!

The big question is: Am I still gonna be the same Jaja as I used to be?! Unbelievably - I often catch myself thinking: This couldn't be happening to me! (In a bad light)

But I'm strong.... and I'm made to last all these so I'm just gonna wait for that tiny bit of hope from God that would change everything back to the way things are.

Thanks for ringing me up love! I really missed you! Thanks for remembering me to look for my worth and purpose and to just do what I love. Do what I need and Do what I'm supposed to do.

I love my friends. The real ones anyway.

xoxo

jaja_angelface

I have always loved all the songs of Savage Garden. The lyrics hit you heart on, their voice is very very soothing and they're just the ideal band (band ba pag dalawa lang sila?! hehehehehe...) to listen to when your tired, lonely or depressed. It's like their song actually uplifts you! hehehehehe...

Anyway - it's just now that I realized how sweet and beautiful this song is! I love it! These guys are truly inspirational.... They have lucky lucky wives.... How can you not fall inlove with guys who write songs such as these?! It makes you feel so protected and understood.... Sigh! I love sensitive guys! hehehehehehehe....

Quicknote: Miss you all my dear dear friends... It seems so long since we saw each other! No matter where everybody are, hope you're all well and happy! xxx!

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When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Currently listening to: Crash and Burn - Savage Garden
Currently feeling: happy